She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
