dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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