I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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