im gay
i know
yea but for you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
