3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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