Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
