is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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