You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
