I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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