Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He did a backflip because drugs
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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