Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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