even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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