it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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