Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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