Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
