She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize