yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
