That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
