You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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