Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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