Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
