Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
