The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
