If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
