If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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