Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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