If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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