my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
