I puked a lego.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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