I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
