Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
