i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there's paper in my vomit.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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