Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
