what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
