Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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