I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
