i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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