nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
