You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize