TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
