I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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