I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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