Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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