forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
