It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
