Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
