Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
pray to the hookup gods
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
