Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
