Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Mom said you looked used
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
