Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
