Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
