My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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