Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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