Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There r osticjed everywhere
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize